July 15, 2009

Cilantro Theft!

Well, it happened sooner than I thought. Somebody gone done stole my cilantro plant right off my front patio. So to that cilantro stealer I say: Really?? A $2.99 cilantro plant from Lowe's?! Well congratulations, because you now have yourself two hundred and ninety nine pennies worth of cilantro and two wasted weeks of my attentive care to the plant, because anyone willing to steal a CILANTRO PLANT probably does not respect gardening enough to properly take care of it. All this is assuming of course that you, thief, did not steal it purely for kicks to prove to your punk buddies what an herb-stealing baddie you are, just to toss it into a dumpster once you got down the block. And if that is the case, I consider you even more lowly than a common herb thief who at least may have wanted it for respectable guacamole-related purposes. So...there.

Seriously though, I was really surprised at how sad I was when I discovered it missing. Not only do I no longer have my favorite herb plant or the nifty-spifty bucket from Jack's that it was planted in, but I essentially see the theft as an act of horticultural terrorism because I am now afraid that anything I plant out there is going to be swiped. What to do? Defiantly continue gardening? (Yeah that's right. Defiantly. Garden.) Chain the plants up with bike locks? Somehow these don't seem to be the kind of issues most gardeners face. What of four-legged pests and cold spells? Only in Brooklyn, I suppose.

1 comment:

  1. Don't be a hater. Maybe it was a very very poor person who was only trying to make his soup kitchen salsa a little more tasty.